When my business took a hit because a major strategic partnership ended, it was easy to get sucked down by nagging questions. What could I have done to prevent it? What did we overlook? How could we have done things differently? Anyone who has faced a setback probably knows this spiral of doubt, especially CEOs, entrepreneurs, and innovators. We praise entrepreneurs when they have an ability to “see around corners.” But I realized that in that situation I didn’t need to be able to see around corners. I needed to trust my instincts and push harder.

The partnership ended mostly because we were bad cultural matches. Sore spots came up and I was not blind to them. I felt that something was wrong. I was paying attention and asking the right questions. I brought up the issues with my partners, and they brushed it off, saying that they were too busy or that my concerns were unfounded. And I let them. This was the real issue.

A big part of me wanted this partnership to work so badly that when they reassured me that things were fine, I let myself be reassured. Also, they were big and prestigious that I felt like I had to trust them and like I didn’t have as much of a say.

On a deeper level, my instincts were telling me that as a woman I shouldn’t hurt a man’s feelings. I wasn’t working with stereotypical sexists but my instinct was not to keep pushing on the sore spots that would make a man uncomfortable. I just said “okay.” It was a lifetime of conditioning that made me not push when issues came up. I wasn’t confident enough so I thought, “maybe it really is okay.”

So now comes the “should have…”, “would have…,” “could have…” part. I should have respected and trusted both my experience and instincts. I wasn’t some unqualified poser who’d gotten lucky and scored a deal with a big company. I worked hard to get there and the business was solving a real problem that doctors were excited to see solved. My instincts were right and those sore spots were real. I should have recognized that I was in it just as much as they were and pushed.

Now, the absolute worst has happened. My resistance to pushing back has proved that the bad shit wouldn’t go away if ignored. Next time I might as well push to see if the partnership is worth the fight. It might fix the problem or not, but it will save a lot of time and money.