I am an itchy person. I don’t settle in and live in contentment. I am continually plotting and planning. I once had a session with a meditation teacher who assured me that I could stop doing and just be, that I didn’t have to strive, that I was enough. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Jesus, how boring.

How can I be an itchy striver and a Zen master?

The thing is, my plotting and planning will get me exactly nowhere. I don’t have a ton of power on my own. I am a pack animal. We have to work as a pack to get anything done. My favorite space to not be engaged in my own brain is with my work pack.

Listening to my peers as they plot and plan, talk about what matters to them, what they’re trying to do, what their obstacles are. I can stay in a meditative space with my pack for minutes, watching their thoughts, actions, and intentions float by. It’s incredibly liberating. I don’t wonder if their goals match mine, I don’t spend those minutes wondering if they can help me get where I want to be. I give attention, what do their ambitions look like, what shape are they, how do they feel about their ambitions, why do they have them, what do they tell me about that person?

I am endlessly curious for minutes. I am free from me, more than me, less than me. I am connected and present. Magic. Then I snap out of the magic curiosity space and let my monkey brain run free and figure out how we can work together to both reach our goals.

Sometimes we should run together, sometimes not.

Either way, I connected, I was present, I was more than I am, and it was awesome.